The Excuse Game

[scootch]

Oh Ah erm I would check under your bed. But I got a bad knee. Ya thats it a bad knee. And My wife just called she wants me to Go shopping Because the Sock Monster Been eating socks again.
Sorry Buddy.

Will you Change Oil On My SUV?

[Fluff]

I would change the oil for you but I'm real bad at knowing which bit has the oil in it and chances are you would end up with oily screen wash when I fill it up again...then you would hunt me down n PK me

Will someone go and teach for me in the morning so I can have a lay in?

[Shortstuff]

I would but I will forget to set my alarms on purpose so that I get a lay in aswell

Will someone please buy me a pub full of alcohol

[Fluff]

I would but you would get an enlarged liver which would put ya in hospital n you would get a skin eating disease or food poisoning and I would lay awake worrying bout ya while I should be having a lay in!

Will someone convince shortyp that teaching a bunch of 18 year old beauty therapy students massage therapies isn't so bad on a Friday morning?

[serame]

I would be happy to, but I'm afraid that the students would end up practicing on Dan, who would then have a heart attack from too much excitement, and he would end up in an ambulance on the way to the hospital, and since the students don't know anything about him they would list you as next of kin and the hospital would call you for information and you would not get your lay in anyway. So between the pub full of alcohol and the beauty students, I'm afraid our Dan would end up in hospital either way, and I don't want to be reported for that either.

Will someone please tell Scootchy to just wash his socks instead of buying new ones all the time?

[Diplomatt]

I was on my way to tell Scootchy about his 'new sock' fetish when I passed an amazing offer! This young girl offered me free food on her! I'm sure she said have a pie on me, but all I remember was some rather large bread stick coming straight for me and I woke up back in the UK, so I couldn't afford the flight back to tell him about his socks!

Could someone please tell Slay that I will teach for her, I do have 'cert-ed', dettles and kettles and all the rest of the qualifications!

[scootch]

I would Tell Slay But Shes A sleep. I dont want to wake her. Besides She Looks So cute wearing those socks.


Please Check My Closet think Doctor Dragons, Monsters are in their.

[Shortstuff]

Checked closet, but you are still in there, think you need to come out

Can someone tell the hospital I'm ready to be discharged

[Fluff]

I would tell the hospital to discharge you but I've been put as your next of kin and that would mean I might have to look after you and unfortunately I'm the least compassionate person I know... so your recuperation would be seriously lacking. Debs might come to visit and find a skeleton instead of a Dan. Plus I think your hallucinations of seeing scootch in the closest indicate mental instability therefore I feel it my duty to have you sanctioned

Would someone please tell me where the toilet is?...I've been wandering around Fally for half an hour with my legs crossed

[Diplomatt]

You can choose your answer:

I would tell you where the toilet is, but I'm worried you may stink it out and we all need to use it sometime!

OR

I would tell you where the toilet is, but your not a man, so I cant tell you the secret! (The secret is, if your a man, the whole world is your toilet, round every corner, on every tree and behind every bush!).

Could you tell Dan to get back in Hospital please?

[serame]

I would, but Dan has gone into hiding and I can't find him. Unfortunately, the hospital discovered that Dan was faking his illness. They ran several days worth of expensive tests on him and have discovered that since a sham was foisted on them they will not be paid for their efforts to save his life. The hospital has notified Slay that they would like to have him back "just for a few minutes on the back loading dock" but she doesn't know where he is either. At least that's what she says. Several hospital orderlies have taken positions outside Dan's work, most likely to abduct and torture him, and when they discover that Dan is responsible for his boss's untimely death and will soon be in prison with Dvdrak, they will ask the beauty students out for a drink to celebrate.

Will somebody please get my hamster out from under the fridge?

[scootch]

hamster Oh Look Its chewing on the letus. Whats that Cooked ham Looks great. And cheese to. mustard yes this looking great
10 min later What Did she want again. Shrugs Whats on tv.


Someone please mend My Blue Jeans

[Darth Kaz2]

"Someone please mend My Blue Jeans"

Mend your Blue Genes? No Problem. We place you into a private institute for gene therapy. All gene's related to feeling 'blue', or sad, are removed. You now feel happy all the time. You walk around with a stupid smile all the time. Unfortunately, you are continuously exploited and abused by everyone you meet, since you seem to enjoy the experience so much.


(Jeans, Genes...for Scootch, only a mis-spelling would do.) :lol:

[scootch]

yer Mis Spelling Oh Looks Gould 2 me. Theis no need for you To Take the evelyn Woodheads Sped Reden and righten Coarse. Cuz U Spall Joust wondarfully.


Someone please help me find my socks

[Diplomatt]

I was going to help you find your socks, but when I bent over to look in the obvious place for them, your feet, I found a coin on the floor. I looked closely at the coin and found it was an ancient Roman coin. On the way to the museum to get the coin valued, I saw a gambling slot machine with big flashy light and loud noises. It was so tempting I accidently put the Roman Coin in, so now I am waiting for the man to come and empty the machine so I can get my coin back! Thats why I cant help!

Could anyone tell me the winning lottery ticket numbers for next week please?