A sobering reminder about on-line predators

[Dr Brad]

The discussion on tip it about this topic was a stomach turner for me. Too many comments placing blame on the girl, saying she should have known better....

I'm concerned that ppl who find it within themselves to fault the child have a dark side to their hearts. Other predators?

As a pediatrician, I've seen horrible things inflicted on children by adults. Things that would turn your stomach. One of the most disturbing justifications given by abusive adults is, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." :evil:

[Huzzah]

Clueless twenty-somethings trying to deflect blame from the predator is simply vile.

Clueless? Hardly, the officer wasn't even sure how many jobs the woman worked. Also working a lot doesn't mean you can give your children such little attention that you don't notice things happening in their life. She also failed to teach her daugher that a man of that age wanting to do stuff with her is incorrect as I'm sure she was rather ignorant of any long-term impacts. I was aware if a 50 something woman wanted to have sex with me at 13 it was wrong. Was the guy wrong? Yes, of course. Was the mother in part? I believe so. Remember its a parents job to protect the child.

[Loxy]

This is all very bad and wrong, but does anyone think that Runescape is unfairly copping most of the blame here.
There was no real need to state which online game was being played as its not a very important part of the story.
However it seems that they are stating that Runescape played a significant role in helping this man do the things he did.
Just unnecessary bad press.
Comments?

[B F O A]

Clueless? Hardly, the officer wasn't even sure how many jobs the woman worked. Also working a lot doesn't mean you can give your children such little attention that you don't notice things happening in their life. She also failed to teach her daugher that a man of that age wanting to do stuff with her is incorrect as I'm sure she was rather ignorant of any long-term impacts. I was aware if a 50 something woman wanted to have sex with me at 13 it was wrong. Was the guy wrong? Yes, of course. Was the mother in part? I believe so. Remember its a parents job to protect the child.

I don't see how you can say she failed to teach her daughter that her actions were incorrect. Nobody knows how the mom handled the situation prior to it getting completely out of hand.

And you're completely ignoring the very real fact that a 13 year old girl, without a father figure in her life (assuming this because the mom works so hard) could not easily be manipulated by someone who could supposedly provide for her so well in the game of Runescape.

Simply put, you're ignoring any psychological impact and manipulation that man could have put over that child just because; in a perfect world parents raise all their kids flawlessly and kids always listen to what their parents say.

They don't.

[blarny3]

I can testify as I am a psychotherapist for ISAS (incest and sexual abuse survivors), that sexual predators are very good at manipulation, making the child feel wanted and loved and helping them to feel it is 'normal' and actually they are 'very grown up' for participating in this sort of vile abuse.

For the victim, a thinking error ensues with the realisation that you have been used. As we get older we develop our morals and ethics and no we do not always listen to our parents, having an adult tell you, that you are the most special person and different from the rest as you are involved in such an adult act (which lets face it sex is everywhere). This is irresistable to a child and the predator often showers the child with gifts, or manipulates them in other ways such as buying them a pet, which of course is kept at the predators house.

As an adult survivor myself I will tell you these men and women, know the art of manipulating a child for their own needs, and thanks to some people our guilt is compounded by comments like 'the child was a willing participant'. Even if it seems like it in no way can the child be held responsible as the consequences are not fully understood, a paedophile does not do things on the childs terms but their own.

I have been trying not to comment on this thread too much as I realise people are entitled to their own opinion, but as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse myself, which went on for 4 years, I was compelled to ask you think carefully before you pass judgement on the child and their mother, the only person at fault here is the perpertrator. And if you want to know why children appear to be willing participants, its for a whole host of reasons, wanting to be grown up, loved, feel beautiful etc etc. It is not until the child grows into an adult when the past compounds into shame and guilt.

As an online community we have a responsibility to be outraged at this story and a moral obligation to keep our ears open and report anything suspicious to Jagex, who I am sure kinow exactly who to report their findings to.

[Joedakiller]

I couldn't believe when I saw this on the news. An online predator in my state? No.. In My county?! Im glad he got caught.

[Diplomatt]

I dont think Jagex are doing enough. We need a bucket load more MODS in the game as a deterant and the ones we have already, some of them need to start being a MOD. A lot of them think by adding a sarcy comment here and there on the runescape forums justify them being a MOD.

I was stood next to a scammer in the GE who was offering to double your money, after a few mins, a MOD icon appeared talking to someone else. The MOD was stood withing eye shot of the scammer and not once in about 5 mins did they tell the scammer to stop trying to scam or even stop using an auto type!

[Steestee]

This is all very bad and wrong, but does anyone think that Runescape is unfairly copping most of the blame here.

Good point. I don't think Runescape should feel much blame if any. Jagex has stated over and over again that they very much condemn Runescape marriages and in-game relationships. In the suggestions section it is even posted "Do not suggest Runescape marriages."

I think Jagex could be a little more proactive about issues like this. On the loading screen for instance, or in the little blurb where they post information and tips before you click the login button, or by issuing more mods, like Andy suggested.

As far as blaming the mother goes, speaking as one of the youngest clan members, even now as I'm off attending college I still keep my mother and father in mind when I make important decisions. I don't want to disappoint them. I think that comes from having a good relationship with my parents. If this young girl and her mother had a better relationship, in my opinion, I think it would have HELPED DETER this evil. Also obviously siding with Blarny's professional opinion and my own ignorance of the situation, maybe even if this mother and daughter were best of friends could this man have fooled this girl.

[Diplomatt]

I would also like to see Jagex release some sort of statement instead of sitting there all dumb and happy. Anyone know any reporters who can ask them for a statement? I would do it myself, but my military e-mail address may give the game away! Like Steestee said, they need to be proactive about this type of thing, not reactive, like taking out the marriage prayer on the god prayer books.

[benson300]

The young girl got the attention she was looking for. Placing any blame on her what so ever is rddiculous. Since when can you get married on RS anyway? I find it odd that Jagex started allowing profanity following this, that will certainly open it up for preditors to say even more.

[Darth Kaz2]

Matt,
I agree completely that Jagex should wake up to their moral responsibility to protect the children who play their game. More Mods. Better trained Mods. Mods who see themselves as more than newbie helpers, but managers of the overall mood and theme of the game. Whether these are Jagex employees or player Mods, they would be an obvious deterent to inappropriate behavior.

Or, maybe Jagex could make the profanity filter optional...that might solve the problem too.

[B F O A]

I'm not entirely sure what more mods will do to prevent this problem.

Also, the profanity filter is optional, and the default option is "on".

[Darth Kaz2]

Ummm, how about Mods that enforce the Jagex rules against scamming, sharing real-world info, and romantic/sexual propositioning between players, for starters. I can't count the times I've seen a Mod standing around while others were breaking the rules. If their role is merely to aid new players, answer questions, etc., that is fine. Maybe we need a new type of Mod empowered to protect naive players from abusive behavior, be it legal (scamming, etc), or illegal (such as the case in question).

Or maybe the role of the typical Mod is merely to mute players who are abusing the profanity filter through fancy typing. Oh, that's right, the profanity filter is optional now. Again, Jagex's approach toward player respect/safety seems to be failing.

Just some thoughts.

[Darth Kaz2]

Question:

Who would be interested in serving as a new player Mod; one who has the authority to punish players who scam, cheat, bot, or prey on the corrupt?

[Ewsentinel]

Personally, I think that if we expect a "game" to help us keep our children safe then we have failed in some way as parents. I know about RS because when my son was 13 I paid attention to what he did. If he would've disappeared for the day I would've noticed. No, Jagex isn't to blame in my opinion. (Disclaimer: I'm not assigning blame. I'm quelling specific blame.)