First edition submissions

[9_red_monkey]

Please post first edition submissions here and I will collect them and put them together for everyone.

[onezerobin]

Red, I am still not sure what I am supposed to do

[9_red_monkey]

What do u want to do??

[scootch]

Luck

Luck Is Somthing No One Has control of. be it chance.
This Brings us to are very own Cotlzftw Or As we all Know him as ed.
Ed Is blessed with luck. On the cc. before he hit magical 99 slaying. We had the privliage Of
seeing ed type. Just got a whip. Oh got another. Visage Drop. man i got 50 blue charms that trip. Woot half key. Ah yes I would say Ed is most Blessed with luck.
But this reporter Has found the secret To his magic. through this investigation I thought he was either kissing a blarney stone, Or Kissing Blarny3. Seems to me be alot Better Snogging with deb Then kissing a rock. But each to their own. After talking with ed on mumble. And constant i got a car brb. Because he plays At work.
I asked him if he ever Rubbed budas tummy. or maybe he had a rabits foot. But that was all dead end. After alot talking and Suttle hints. I figured it out.
Ed eats everyday 2 big bowls of lucky Charms.
As we all know they are magically delicious.
You heard it first Keep On Eating ed. And Good Luck
Scootch

[Kaye]

nice scootch!

[onezerobin]

I want to do a "Dea Avi" column. Humor (or an attempt at humor), mentoring, advising, analyzing data, and research are my forte. I would like to do few kinds of question and answer columns. One could be rs realted (how to get fastest quest cape, or please suggest best way for me to level if I have x herb lvl and y cash to spend). Other could be serious real life question, (I have problem at work managing x amount of time doing task y, or how do I deal with difficult people). The third kind of questions could be completely ridiculous with my ridiculous answers (This i already do on a daily basis in the clan , quite a few will vouch for this)

[9_red_monkey]

All of those sound good avidr!! I'd love to try to get 1st edition out around beginning of April or end of march. Please everyone begin any interviews and other things you plan on and post here. I will collect and post all together before we make anything final. I'll also be working on graphics and I can put together the want ads.

[Kaye]

I want to do a "Dea Avi" column. Humor (or an attempt at humor), mentoring, advising, analyzing data, and research are my forte. I would like to do few kinds of question and answer columns. One could be rs realted (how to get fastest quest cape, or please suggest best way for me to level if I have x herb lvl and y cash to spend). Other could be serious real life question, (I have problem at work managing x amount of time doing task y, or how do I deal with difficult people). The third kind of questions could be completely ridiculous with my ridiculous answers (This i already do on a daily basis in the clan , quite a few will vouch for this)

Think you could start with answering this ridiculous questions? Just to get us started:
Dear "AVI": It seems recently that my complexion has gotten much paler, my eyes are baggy and bloodshot, and my mouse clicking finger has become red, swollen, and has sores with puss leaking out. Do you think I might having contracted a RSTD?
-"Anonymous"

Dear "AVI": There is a "guy" in KoA i really like...but I am afraid "he" might be a girl irl and I personally am not into girls. He's always wearing skirts and giving me tips on the best stuff to wear, and I have seen him carrying flowers more than once... I want to ask him to be my rs husband but, I am too embarrassed to ask in case I am wrong, Help me please!
-"wantinghimBAD"

Dear "AVI": When I'm farming; my herbs and trees always seem to die. I have tried watering them but, they refuse to let me. Why do they want to die? Do they hate me? Could it be karmic retribution for all the people I have killed?
-'fear & self-loathing'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Also Avi, you clearly have a knack for writing...what do you think about a fictional story for every issue?

[Kaye]

-Riddle/Jokes:
How many fish do you have to cook to not be a noob?
-none, cooking is for noobs.

You know you're addicted to Runescape when your partner's pants have a low drop rate.

Interview with "Salarin The Twisted"

Scootch- Here we are at Yanille dungeon with The infamous druid, Salarin the Twisted. *SLAP*
Scootch- Dude! I just want to interview you! Dont hit the interviewer!
Salarin- You cant hurt me! You noob With that pole!
Scootch- I´ll stand back over here,ok Mr twisted? Geez, Its like living with 5 other men.
Salarin- STFU noob! What do you think it is like for me here? Always wandering around, never saying nothing, *wander wander*.
Scootch- Oh so thats why you are so crabby and mad?
Salarin- *Glares*
Scootch- Why the name Salarin? I looked it up on google. All it said was an oriental food. Are you from Thailand?
Salarin- No, some jagex Mod dude ate there once, hence the name. Now, I kill you!
Scootch- Sure ya will nub! Quit slapping me! Just trying to talk with you!
Salarin- *Slap slap*
Scootch- Stop it nub, or Im gonna shove this pole where the sun dont shine!
Salarin- *Slap slap slap*
Scootch- Ok you asked for it.... Feel the fire strike! muhahaha *Koed* Oh look, a black key!

Ok folks, you read it here first, the angry slightly insane Salarin the Twisted.... in his own words, honest ;)

Scootch
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here are my answers to your questions. I glad that you asked me to be interviewed and I hope that I did a good job at answering your questions. Feel free to ask my anything else, or to elaborate.

1. The art of confetti throwing is a time honored art that requires hours, if not minutes, of dedicated training and meditation to achieve optimal confetti spread with a perfectly achieved throwing height. It's all in the wrist. You have to have the perfect snap in your wrist to make it rain confetti like colorful magical pixy dust.

2. I first came to Runescape in an effort to save the world from tyranny and ultimate destruction. That, and when I checked on my son on the computer one day I asked what he was doing and he said that he was playing a cool game where they give you free stuff. When I looked at what he was doing, he was walking around saying in public "“trade?” "“i like your spear. Trade?” I was immediately intrigued and created my own account. It wasn't long before I had more stuff that he did, so I would give him gear and gp until he finally got bored and quit.

3. My favorite skill to use, but not train, is ancient magic in PvP mini games such as Soul Wars, Clan Wars and Castle Wars. My magic cape was the fastest achievement of all my skill capes because I wanted to Ice Barrage so bad that I spent a LOT of time each day training it at the Alchemist Playground (Mage Training Arena).

4. I love being in an adult clan, because the childish chatter of other clans is mind numbing. I've been in two proper clans prior to joining KoA. My first clan was a Star Wars themed clan that I joined when I turned 80+ combat (that was the minimum req). I was the only adult in that clan for the longest time until another joined (although he was almost 15 years younger than me). At first it was a very organized and well run clan, especially considering how many kids were in it. But once the clan leader quit and handed it over to the second-in-command, it quickly fell apart. Almost the entire clan, except for me, didn't like the new leader and a power vacuum engulfed the clan as the clan conspired to kick her out of the clan. I was so sickened by the name calling and back stabbing that I quit the clan and started my own clan with the ostracized leader from my previous clan and also the only other adult clan member. The three of us created a semi-successful clan, but I soon realized that it was more work than I was willing to do, with trying to organize groups of kids for events and get them to work as a cohesive group. So, I folded the clan and went searching for another clan. I did a Google search for Runescape clans and was surprised to find that there was an actual adult-only clan. After ready the requirements, I immediately applied and have been a happy KoAer ever since.

5. My RS name is a combination of two names. About 15 years ago I had a side software solutions business. I didn't know what to name it, so I cheekily named it Eric's World Software, because my first name is, of course, Eric. Around that time I put together a white-hat Internet hacker group called The Sentinels. We would combat black-hat hacker attempts at disrupting popular forum servers and the like. However, both Eric's World Software and The Sentinels are no more. I closed down both over 10 years ago. As a tip of the hat to both groups, I joined the two names together and EWSentinel was born.

~~~~~~really would like to see the questions if you have them Scootch

[onezerobin]

Ok, here is my first attempt at "ridiculous" answers Please feel free to give honest opinion about if they are funny or lame. We don't want our newspaper to be lame

Dear "AVI": It seems recently that my complexion has gotten much paler, my eyes are baggy and bloodshot, and my mouse clicking finger has become red, swollen, and has sores with puss leaking out. Do you think I might having contracted a RSTD?
-"Anonymous"
Dear 'Anonymous': Pale complexion, bloodshot eyes, swollen fingers and puss leaking sores are often mistaken with RSTD. But our expert resident Doctor in Draynor Manor, says what you might have is a Delayed Vampire Syndrome. Basically you are born as a vampire but were abducted by insane humans. As a proof you might also realize you prefer dark dingy rooms with just a monitor in front of you. As your development progresses you will be biting people in the neck (Humans call them hickies), and avoid Garlic. Try to go easy on blood sucking in the beginning

Dear "AVI": There is a "guy" in KoA i really like...but I am afraid "he" might be a girl irl and I personally am not into girls. He's always wearing skirts and giving me tips on the best stuff to wear, and I have seen him carrying flowers more than once... I want to ask him to be my rs husband but, I am too embarrassed to ask in case I am wrong, Help me please!
-"wantinghimBAD"
Dear 'wantinghimBAD': Congratulations on discovering rs infatuation The real question should not be whether 'he' is carrying flowers. The question is what color flowers. White flowers are the most expensive ones costing around 300k. Where as some dingy multicolored flowers are mere 34gp. You definitely do not want a "poor" rs mate. 8) Even rs best stuff costs lot of gp, and you want a guy who can support your high tastes Also in some parts of human world, guys do wear,skirts but call them kilts . So please go ahead and ask him/her. A rs skirt wearing guy is perfectly eligible for an amazing stalker like you

Dear "AVI": When I'm farming; my herbs and trees always seem to die. I have tried watering them but, they refuse to let me. Why do they want to die? Do they hate me? Could it be karmic retribution for all the people I have killed?
-'fear & self-loathing'
Dear 'fear & self-loathing': Shame on you! I am not judging, but have to say this bluntly. How can you differentiate between herbs and people. People have an amazing opportunity to be killed in pvp, duel arena etc. But the poor herbs and trees have only a random chance. So stop being greedy and let them die in peace.

[Kaye]

rofl Avi; well done!

[scootch]

Think i do one more story. unless we are out of time, What yall Think Do short bio About all of us. Nuttin serious, So new members Know who we are, I be on this weekend next week be hit and miss, because internet I will be in San Juan For 8 days

See yall soon
I will see if i have questions to that interview Kay

[onezerobin]

Btw, nice interview scootch :-D

[Kaye]

i think bio's about us would be funny if the were done "scootchy style"

[scootch]

Exsample This what i know only what half i make up. Bio one.

Hi Folks Scootch here Wanted to run down for 1st addition of KOA today. With short Bio of the writers and editors of KOA. First up The Intimidator. never a duplicator The one the only Kayyyyyy zee. > This were Short bio of yer self


Next with out a doubt hes a killer And thriller and oh yes A skiller. Are own Monkey madness. the one the only Reddddddddd Monkey.

Yer Bio.


And Direct From From Down Town Lumby. Shes One of KOAs Movers and shakers. Quick on here feet use a pen for a sword Here shee issssss Avi

Yer Bio


U better be a green dot At 55 Wild Or its off with yer head Scootch.


Then My Bio. Born a Farm Boy. because To this day I love to work. Am type A Personality. I say whats on my mind. From whats yer problem to I love you. Rs Life Well Am more rich In freinds then i am in gold. ( Give away Alot of stuff to new players) And yes I have a Caring heart I will help anyone No matter what yer level make no mistake Still like PVP